SLEEP!

I knew having children I would be sleep deprived.  I mean who doesn't go into parenthood knowing the first few months will be tough because you don't get a lot of sleep? 

When I was pregnant with Kyle I had insomnia.....it sucked!  Not just the last month or 2 when things can be a little uncomfortable the entire pregnancy.  In fact it was more like from conception.  The moment I became pregnant I literally stopped sleeping.  I talked to the doctor about it and she said it happens to some women in pregnancy. Well, no big deal...I was so excited and anxious to be a mom, it was worth it!

I was so in love with Kyle!  So was Jay, he could not bare the sound of his son crying to be with Mom and Dad, that most nights he cuddled with us.  Well, me, but in our bed. At least I slept...a little.

Then suddenly I became pregnant with Hailey!  I was in such shock, such disbelief....You can get pregnant that fast?  Your body allows that? I slept, but it was with the ups and downs of my still new baby who slept in my bed.  Go ahead JUDGE me.  I said it too: My baby will NOT be IN MY bed!!!  Well, when you are exhausted and you need sleep, plus you are tired because you are pregnant again and your heart is ripping out of your chest because your new baby is crying because all he wants is to be near you; and your husband rather than being supportive and saying "he's OK, lay down sleep." is instead YELLING at you "go get the baby, I can't take hearing him like that, its tearing me apart!" You'll put baby in your bed too.

Anyway, when Kyle turned 1 and should have been in his bed, he was still in ours and then I had a newborn.  Which as stated previously we know comes with lack of but really NO sleep.

Now I have made efforts and tried to get him n his own bed, and her too!  Don't think I haven't!

Well, here I am a couple years later.  Kyle is sleeping in his big boy bed...kinda, and Hailey is still in MY bed.  Why is Kyle kinda in his bed???  Well, he gets up 1-5 times a night coming into my room either a.)demanding he go in my bed: which I for the most part stick to my guns and say NO and get him into his own bed, which means he will be up at least 3 more times. OR b.) he comes in and in his sweet, snugly oh so hard to resist cuteness whispers :Mom, will you snuggle me in my big boy bed please?":In which I get up pee (because I am pregnant so every time I get up I have to pee- should have mentioned that before) put him in his bed sit with him for a minute and then go back to bed.

Doesn't sound so bad right....but IT IS BAD!  Remember, Hailey is in my bed, well little Miss. talks and screams and yells in her sleep.  To the point where she is literally screaming at me so I have to wake her up, and settle her down, and she is very grumpy. Her rants can go on for up to 20 minutes or more.  Which is actually why she is still in my bed because at least when she is nearby I can get to her fast enough that she does not always wake up Kyle, or Jay for that matter because he has somehow learned to sleep through most of this......speaking of which...HOW DO MEN DO THAT?? I digress........

So here I am 4 years after my first pregnancy, pregnant again with baby #3 and still NOT sleeping......I'm not looking for hours upon hours here.  I'm not even looking for a straight 8. Maybe an interrupted 5 or 6 even?

Oh wait, I have to stop typing because its 4am and Hailey just got OUT of bed to find me!

I'm back!  OK I know I am ranting, but sometimes someone just needs to rant, and when you are a tired mama you have even more of a right.

I LOVE being a Mom, but I totally thought I'd be sleeping at least a little more by now.  My clock is so off.  I am often times passed out before 7:30pm and up for the day by midnight, and have woken up 1-2 times (at least) for my family.

I know I shouldn't complain, I am SO BLESSED to have the family I have.  I am BLESSED to have such a connection with my children.  One day I will sleep again.  It may be when they are off to college, or married with families of their own, or even when I am dead.  But, it will happen!  I have a dream!

Thanks for hanging in there and reading my rant.  I feel like maybe I can rest now =)  Sweet dreams!