Hailey's Haven

Pictures of Haileys room. Thanks to Bob, Grandpa Mike, Uncle Pip, Auntie Kate, Daddy and Kyle =)

To Have a Caesarean, or Not to Have a Caesarean: That Is The Question.

So I am 36 weeks pregnant and have a huge decision on my hands: Do I have a c-section or not? This is a very difficult decision for me. I should mention that from the very beginning the doctor has felt I should have a section, here is the whole story.

By now, everyone knows I did not dilate at all when I went into labor for 30 hours with Kyle. Maybe it was due to the fact Kyle was so big and my body just decided he was not coming out that way, or maybe I just can't/don't dilate.

The deal I made with both myself and the doctor was that if she was going to be approximately 8lb 8oz or less I would try a VBAC delivery, if she was 8lb 9oz or more I would give in and have the c-section. Today, we had an ultrasound and she is already approximately 7lb 5 oz. The doctor is guessing she is going to be 9lbs and change which of course means I am supposed to have the c-section.

I am very disappointed. I really would like to experience a VBAC. I think I am more so upset because a woman told me I was not a "real" woman because I did not experience a "real" delivery. She felt because it was an "emergency" situation that it was not my fault, but anyone who schedules a section is just weak. It actually made me think...maybe I really should try again. I truly in my heart would like to experience a "natural" delivery. But, there are so many variables.

The thoughts that run through my mind are: 1.) I really do not want a scheduled c-section, I would like Hailey to come into the world on her own terms in her own time. 2.) I really do want to experience a natural delivery. 3.) The recovery from a c-section is LONG!! I will be in the hospital 4-5 days which is the longest I will ever be away from Kyle (I have been away from him maybe 50 hours since he was born and 24 hours of that was recently)PLUS when I get home I will have a 1 year old who loves to be held and played with..especially with Mommy =). 4.) Do I labor again for 30 hours to need a c-section anyway?? 5.) If I labor and then need a c-section anyway I may not have my doctor. I switched to my doctor when my original OB/GYN got out of obstetrics, I went with the doctor who performed my first c-section because he did an amazing job and he stitches, not staples. 6.) If I push I could rupture my uterus. Once you have a c-section your uterus has been ripped into and needs to heal, unfortunately my body only got to heal for a few months and then the uterus starts stretching out and weakening again, so I may need an emergency c-section anyway.

I guess in typing all this out the answer is clear; what is best for me would be a c-section, I just don't know if it is best for my family. It also saddens me to know I may never experience a true birth..but does that make me less of a mother? Are those who adopt children not real mothers??? I feel they are. Most anyone can mother or father a child. It takes true love, and strength, patience, commitment, understanding and so much more to be a mommy or daddy, despite how this child has come to join your world.

I guess I am going to meet Miss Hailey Rose DeVincent May 14,2009. At least now on the days that I feel like I am done and just can not handle being pregnant anymore I know when the end is, there is no wondering or stressing and we can plan exactly what to do with Kyle =) I am still a little sad and disappointed, but I am sure the instant I meet my little lady it will all be worth it. See you in 22 days baby girl =)

A Birthday of Emotions!

Today was one of the most emotional days of my life. I don't know if I am ridiculous, normal, or maybe a little hormonal. Today was Kyle's 1st Birthday! He first woke up at 3am...and I looked at the clock and realized at 3am a year ago Kyle was not even here yet. I remembered at 3am, 1 year ago staring at the clock TRYING to sleep. I remember looking over at Jay, who was sleeping for the moment and thinking, whats going to happen? What did we do? He is going to be a daddy...and me a mommy! I had to bring Kyle into our bed, Daddy wanted him there too. I think we both sensed the moment was special, it was a year ago "we", became an "us". We became a family.

Each moment I looked at the clock I could remember what I was doing, thinking, and feeling, a year ago;7:12am back labor, 1:42pm epidural, 7:58pm the anesthesiologist telling me in less than 10 minutes I was going to be a mother, 8:06pm the doctor announcing Kyle's arrival and birth time. At 10pm I asked Jay if I had met Kyle yet, he said yes, about 30 minutes ago. It was just as special for him I think. Here it is 3am April 18th and I recall JUST getting into my hospital room.

It's so strange, on this day I feel so proud...our son is ONE! We did it! We made it through the first year! Yet, I am somewhat reserved in my accomplishment...where did the year go? It flew! My baby is growing and changing more and more. Learning language and skills. Which I KNOW is a good thing, but it's hard knowing my baby is GROWING UP. I want to keep him my baby boy.

There are days I honestly look at Kyle and think "when are his parents going to pick him up already?" I can not believe he is mine. Though the year has had its ups and downs it has certainly been one of the most amazing and educational years of my life. Because of Kyle I am a different person. I can't quite put my finger on why or how...I just know I feel different. This world that used to be about me and how I felt is now about my son, and his father. My world is about my family. My world is about love, and the strength and power love gives you.

So though the day is and has been very emotional for me, I think in the end all that matters is: I am happy. I have my husband and my son, and a little girl on the way. I have my FAMILY, we are happy, healthy, and strong. What more could a girl ask for out of life???

Jewelry...a girl can always ask for more jewelry, (JK)!


I took pictures of Kyle at every "well baby" visit. Though I could post a MILLION pictures of his first year, I thought these best demonstrated how he changed, just from doctor visit to doctor visit.

Baby Speed!

Kyle is so DARN FAST.

Besides the fact that he bolts for everything now. He knows I can not chase him or move as fast as I could before. It seems as I get bigger and slower he is getting stronger and faster...he is a little Speedy Gonzales. He actually tests me now, oh and isn't this cute; he will move his hand just out of my reach if he has something I am trying to grab. "Its not as easy for Mommy to move hahaha."

Not only does he move fast but he is learning fast too! This morning we were in the basement cleaning up. I had to go upstairs to grab a broom. I was literally gone for 30 seconds, and when I return where is Kyle??? That's right on his SECOND step standing up!

He did not crawl up the steps like a typical baby would do, he was trying to WALK up the steps, and was successful. Did I mention he has nowhere to practice this skill? I have had him downstairs maybe 4 times in his life, and the last 3 times were within the last week, and he did not try to conquer the stairs then.

I wish I had a photo of the moment, but my heart was in my brain as I tried to stay calm, so he would not scare and fall backward. This baby would drive me to drink, if I could drink that is =) I knew being a Mom was going to have its challenges, but literally chasing a one year old is exhausting. How am I going to do it with a newborn?!?!?!? At least its great exercise =)

ANOTHER Daddy adventure

I love my husband I truly do but sometimes I could just SCREAM "What were you thinking?!?!?!"

On Saturday morning I went to Home Depot early..7:45- 8am ish. I needed to pick out the paint color for Hailey's room...we were having a painting party =). I got there and felt fine, great even. I saw some old friends I had worked with and said hello. Of course everyone was asking about Kyle..they haven't seen him. "where's the baby?" was all I heard. I honestly went so early because I figured it would not be busy, and I did not bring Kyle because I figured the people I mostly worked with would not be there yet.

So there I am debating on the perfect shade of pink..yes pink, I never thought I would paint pink but that's another story. I really believed I would go in find the right pink and be out. Do you KNOW how HARD it is to pick out paint. I chose all the colors in my house before and did not remember it taking THAT long. But pink...it was excruciating.

So there I am trying to decide and the woman who I worked with was updating me on her family. Her grandson was born and not doing very well. I was listening and my heart so went out to her and then the store spun. I felt the blood leave my hands and feet. I felt horribly rude, but I looked at her and said "I am so sorry but I think I might pass out I need some air" I was so embarrassed. I somehow made it outside to get some air.

Another associate came out and sat with me. She did her best to make me feel better (so sweet) I knew I was not 100% but I was hell bent on getting that pink paint. I headed back in the store and thought "just do this you can do this-in and out". Then the spin hit me again! I really thought I could get through picking the color but did not want to drive home. Granted we live about 1 mile away, but this was BAD! I do not know how but I was able to call Jay. I just said "you have to come get me" He asked "What should I do with Kyle?" "Of course BRING HIM!

(To give you a little back story Jay is in the car business. He almost never drives home the same car twice so the second base is never in one of his vehicles. Also, he has NO IDEA how to really install the base, because he has never had to. I have no doubt he could figure it out, but most of that stuff I do.)

As I am standing at the counter trying to hold myself up I told myself, he is NOT going to find that base and put it in the car. Next thing I knew I was looking up at the lights and 2 old friends were helping me up. I was MORTIFIED. I tried so hard to not pass out and boom I did. I was given water and a chair and looking for my phone to tell Jay not to come (he wasn't going to install the base) then comes in my husband and my baby boy everyone was looking for.

My beautiful baby boy was still in his pajamas, with breakfast dribbled down the front of them and he had baby boogies all over his face. Now, not only was I embarrassed that I fainted but my cutie son looked like a neglected snotty puppy.

The associates told Jay to bring the car around. I said absolutely not! I still need my pink paint. Poor Jason was really under the gun now...he had to pick the perfect pink or else we would be painting for a second time; and considering my most recent appearance it would be him going back and forth to the store purchasing the pink paint.

The paint was purchased, and I was home free...we were headed home. This is where the Daddy dumbness (for lack of better words) is found out. I asked "where is Kyle's car seat?" His response "I thought you had it" Which was SUCH B.S. He KNEW I did not have it. I was furious! Thank God we live so close. Literally, if you wanted a nice walk you could walk to the Depot from my home. I sat in the back with Kyle and we made it home. I KNOW this is against the law and unsafe and etc. but I HAD to get home I was SICK.

So later that day I asked Jason, "How did you get Kyle to the Depot?" I know if it were me and my husband called in a panic and scared me to pieces I maybe would not have my head on straight either but that baby would have been in a car seat in a base. You would think he would have at least put him in his car seat...but NO. He held him the whole way there. I addressed Daddy and the situation of course. How could you not at LEAST put him in the safety seat?!?!?

He was scared...I have NEVER called him like that. I would have to REALLY need help to have called him and I did. I guess love makes you do some crazy things. I am just wondering, because my husband really is a good dad...Is this a guy thing? Is this a Daddy thing? Do daddy's really think THAT differently from Mommy's? Or is this just a MY husband thing?

Daddy's Adventure-Just in Case!

I decided I had to share this story for all who may read this blog:

Last Sunday Daddy took Kyle to church. They go every week. I try to go, but Sundays for whatever reason seem to be the one morning a week I sleep a bit, and its nice to have the house to myself for a few hours. ANYWAY...I always tell Jay to bring the mini diaper bag. He tells me "I don't need it, I need a Binky and an extra Binky, puffs and a few toys." Knowing he is wrong and this attitude would one day wreak havoc I say "OK", and off they go.

Well did he learn his lesson or what?!?!?!? There they are in church and Jason looks down to see Kyle grunting and pushing...yup, he is pooping. Of course he laughed a bit, Kyle will glance up at you and smile like "yup, I sure am doing that!" Jay thought he could maybe get away with it, there was 30 minutes left in the service and it was communion Sunday. He did not want to miss it. That is until the gentlemen in front of him and next to him both picked up their 2 and 3 children to small their little bums. That's it daddy HAD to change the diaper...but he did not have the diaper bag!

Out to the car they went...in the torrential rain. Mommy always has extra diapers in the car...oh but not today!

Jay did find wipes. So, he cleaned his son up. Put the dirty diaper in a bag and....came home, or went down the street to Rite-Aid to get diapers right???? NOPE! He layered wipes in the zone a diaper belongs, buckled up Kyle's onesie dressed him back up and went BACK INTO CHURCH! Talk about Godly devotion!

Within 5 minutes of them being back in church and the last 15 minutes of service Kyle went pee. That's right my poor little boy peed all over himself and Daddy. I think it was his way of saying "Mommy knows best!".

When they got home and Jay told me the story I was expecting him to be annoyed or even a little angry, but he wasn't! He received communion said his prayers came home and gave Kyle a bath, and of course told me I was right...he should always bring the mini bag. Some lessons are just learned the hard way I guess.

The TRUE meaning of Tubby Time

For many parents giving their child a bath is not easy. Some babies hate the water. Some parents think its just another "job" in their day. Not in this household. In this home tubby time is pure fun, entertainment, excitement and an integral part of the bedtime routine.

Some children get grumpy in the evening because they are tired or that is just fussy time. My son demands a tubby! Its is a ROUTINE necessity. He eats dinner, will play for a bit and then the angry face comes out...and you know its tubby or nothing. I will say "c'mon Kyle its tubby time". He runs following me into the bathroom to watch the water flow from the tap.
I will then turn to him and say "OK, lets go get your tubby stuff and get naked", there he is wagging his tail behind me to disrobe. I will then usually tell him to go see daddy. This is for my entertainment...I LOVE his little naked bum and watching him run around.

Then the moment arrives he gets IN the tub. We wash him up and then he plays with his toys, I let him stay in and play...I was once told water wears a baby out =)

(He figured out how to stand in the seat, so we do not use it anymore, but I highly recommend it. At first I thought we were never going to use it, but it was actually a great assistant while I needed it.)

I can not express enough the importance of the night time tubby. If we are out somewhere or for whatever reason do not get to the bath one night, Kyle does NOT sleep through the night. It is bath, a little playtime, book and bed. That is the way it must be if Mom and Dad are looking to sleep.

Although, I find even when he sleeps through the night I don't...I miss him. Plus in my condition its not always easy to sleep.

Anyway, the lesson Mommy's and Daddy's out there...is keep track of what you do the nights your baby sleeps through the night. It may be something as fun and simple as a tubby!

Great gifts are Great entertainment

Ms. Dorothy McCracken, one of Kyle's very talented relatives in Ireland made him this adorable romper. It was a little small, but Auntie Kate and I had to put him in it. Plus Ms. Dorothy HAD to see all her hard work be worn. So the modeling began.....granted my photography was not the greatest that day...there were still a few good shots

Kyle in his "King Chair" he is still too little. He seems to feel it is his soapbox to stand up and sound off =)

Some new toys and changes

My poor baby boy caught a cold! It wasn't a BAD cold, but it was still a cold. What amazed me is how spirited he was despite not feeling 100%. There were 2 or 3 rough nights, but other than that he was a happy baby fighting snoogies and itchy eyes.

We also have a few new toys and "favorite places" in the house. For April Fools Kyle finally figured out how to open ALL the cabinets in the house. This is actually him sneaking back into the kitchen to pull out some Tupperware. I just can't lock him out of every cabinet. I feel a baby should be able to explore and have a little fun, yes, even in the kitchen. Even if it means Mommy picking up the mess a few times a day. Though it can be a pain at times, I find myself amused as well. The bathroom on the other hand...it is like a retreat to him. He LOVES playing with the plunger...and the toilet paper roll. The toilet is now locked, and tubby time....do not even mention it until it is time.

A new toy as well seems to be my hair brush. He will carry it around the house like another baby (or maybe how I would) carry around a "tickle blanket". I guess we all have our quirks. My nephew Jameson was into hairdryers...must be something in the blood??

I feel Kyle may become a musician one day...more specifically a drummer. He is now sneaking wooden spoons out of the kitchen and finding things to "bang" on. For instance the coffee table or this bucket. Sometimes the noise is excruciating, but for the most part I let him play. What if he is the next great drummer like Ringo Star or Alex Van Halen?!?! One should encourage that =)