I feel like I have been asked this question a lot in the last week:
How is life with 3?
Life with 3 is amazing. Cole has brought so much more love and laughter into our home. As well as a sense of complete for me. I feel like our family is "whole". I get sad at times with the thought of "I will never be pregnant again" (although its not as though I loved it! I didn't not like it, but I didn't like it either...its way harder than men think). I tear up that Cole will be my last baby.....and pray that when my 3 babies grow up and have children I will be close enough with their significant others, so their babies can be like my babies...again. Why am I thinking that far ahead? I don't know....sometimes my mind wanders.
Life with 3 is a little hectic, but that is what a I wanted. Though life with two is great,and easily organized; I wanted more! I wanted a third to make life a little bit more exciting and challenging. WHY? Not sure. I guess my heart was just not complete at 2.
With chaos does come stress, and I think anytime you find a routine, and then throw something new in you are rattled. When I first came home with Kyle he wanted me to hold him all the time, I could NOT put him down, so to get anything done was hard, but I found a way. Then we had Hailey and she was the same way. She did not want to be put down, and it was hard to get things done, but I found my way. With Cole, he allows me to put him down for times here and there so its easier to straighten up the house on a daily basis. A "good clean" (which is how I feel truly good- I don't know why I am like this) well they are few and far between. I actually was having anxiety about the cleanliness of my home....I know, RIDICULOUS!
I am told by many that I am putting too much pressure on myself. Thankfully I have a husband that doesn't mind a mess here and there, and he respects that I really do try.
I try to do things with the kids. I get them to school on time, I run errands with them. We grocery shop. We try to go places, do crafts at home and at the present time Kyle is doing martial arts and Hailey is doing ballet. Cole is an incredible sport and comes along for everything. He rarely cries, and if he does he usually just needs a snuggle or a binky. The most challenging thing for me is keeping him fed: ex: Feed him now, and pack a bottle I will feed him in the car between dropping Hailey off at school and food shopping. He does not eat well out of the house so I have to keep him from getting distracted which is not always easy when you are out and about.
I don't feel as prepared with Cole as I was with Kyle and Hailey. I had back up (clothes diapers and etc.) for my back ups. However, with Cole I don't really ever need "back ups" so maybe thats why? But for some reason it feels like I am doing something wrong.
I have to say I did get a little upset with another mommy recently. Her third is currently in pre-school. Cole had spit up all over me while I was waiting to pick up Kyle. She said "oh I remember those days of not getting to wear "real clothes"". My thought was Thanks for understanding.
Then the next week she said "I like that you are wearing a bright color today. It suits you. You should buy more bright colors. Sometimes we have to do our make up and look good for our man." My thought was: I have known my man since I was 15 years old. Though he likes when I dress and feel good about myself, right now I don't feel good about myself., and I refuse to buy clothes I don't want to fit into! I am trying to get into a new routine and fit going to the gym into my day on top of still adjusting and sometimes just surviving with my new life of 3 babies..OH and by the way, my husband likes me better without make-up (though I think he is NUTS). When I wear make up I usually hear "you look painted up. I like you just the way you- are a natural beauty."
So (tongue out at you) woman that does not really know me!
There is some added stress with Cole having to go to the doctor so often, and with the holidays fast approaching my mind is always going, planning, thinking, deciding, figuring out...but I am like that anyway.
I somehow survive on little to no sleep and do it without caffeine. My biological timer will get up at either 1:30am or 3am and I am wide awake fighting to go back to sleep and to not start my day. I find myself throwing in a load of laundry at 3am, and then yell at myself for not trying harder to get back to sleep. But sleep is a gift at this point. Though Cole does seem to be sleeping better (due to the nap nanny) Kyle and Hailey are still getting up and often coming in my bed. I will try to get them back in their rooms, but when I am sleeping I am out cold to anything but Cole sounds. So, when I do sleep 2-4 hours straight my body is so well rested it thinks its time to move.
I wouldn't change my life for anything. I love my husband, our home, my children, my life. I appreciate the man I married and not a day goes by that he does NOT say: I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you.
So, though I have more challenges now, they are the same challenges I had adjusting with my first 2 babies. Well plus a few more because the other 2 are here with wants and needs and desires and a need for a referee to break up their fights =)
So far: that is life with 3.....perfectly imperfect =)
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