I had a doctors appointment yesterday. Nothing crazy, just a short little baby bump check. You go in, get weighed, pee, they check your blood pressure. Then the doctor comes in and you chit chat a bit and you get to hear the heartbeat =). We are 16 weeks pregnant and Baby D.is doing well. The heartbeat rate correlates with what I think I am having but we will know officially in 2 weeks! We can't wait. Well, I kind of would like to wait, but Jase can't, which make me just have to know.
I was a little taken back with my conversation with the Dr.: "Have we set the date for your c-section yet?" I'm not sure why I was so shocked, we knew the scheduled date for Hailey early...I was wondering when we were going to have the baby. It just seemed so definitive I guess.
I REALLY do NOT want another c-section. Kyle was my first. After my water breaking, and laboring for 32 hours (most of that without drugs) and not dilating at all I spiked a fever and had to have a c-section. The recovery wasn't great, but I could handle it. With Hailey I really wanted to try a VBAC. The Dr. had some concerns because I became pregnant so fast. He did not want me to have to labor if I was going to need a c-section again, especially where my body did not prepare to deliver a baby at all the first time! There was concern about the thickness or lack their of, of my uterus. He agreed if Hailey was projecting 8lbs. or less that I could try to deliver naturally. More, it would be a c-section. Like her brother, Hailey was projecting to be more than 8lbs. Kyle was 9lbs. 13oz. Miss. Hailey was born 8lbs. 13oz. I can remember the Dr. saying during my c-section: "this is the thinnest uterus I have ever seen." The recovery after her was hard. I don't know if its because it was my second section or just because I still had a 1 year old BABY that needed Mommy, and needed me to hold him, and love him.....How could I NOT?
I asked about trying to deliver naturally with this one and it was highly recommended I do not try given my history, and some things that have occurred during this pregnancy. The fear of God was put in Jason when he heard I would have to sign so many papers saying I understand the risks and want to proceed. There are very high risks for me to deliver naturally, and too many risks for Jason to feel comfortable with. I have 2 babies at home already to think of, and want to come home to them ASAP!
I have to admit I am a little disappointed that I will never get to experience a natural birth. I feel like I am missing some invisible notch on my womanly belt of life. Plus the comment some woman made to me years ago lingers "a REAL woman and mother gives birth naturally!" I know that is ridiculous...I am a REAL mom and a REAL woman. I carried my children and love them. AND I do not THINK or FEEL child birth defines a mother. What about mothers who adopt...are they not real? Is their love less than? I think NOT!
I know I shouldn't be disappointed or feel less than. I am instead looking at the positives: I don't have to have any uncomfortable doctors appointments where one fits their arm inside you to see how you and baby are...yeah you read that right...I did NOT know how far up one had to go to check things out! I do not have to wonder in the end: WHEN is this going to happen? HOW is this going to happen? Where will I be when labor begins? So a HUGE plus, I KNOW babies birthday! It was the best birthday gift I could ever receive (yesterday was my birthday). Though, taken back about setting a date for Baby D's arrival I know it will be July 12th 2012. Baby will share a Birthday with Auntie Rhonda.
So yes, I am disappointed a third c-section is recommended. But in the end does it really matter? I am going to hold my baby and my heart is going to grow another 100 times with love. Our family is going to have even more love, laughter and memories to share no matter how baby arrives. We are so blessed! C-section or not.
See you July 12th Baby D! =) LOVE YOU!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment